A Piece of a Woman's Mind

The men have done it to us again. On April 9, 2024 the Arizona Supreme Court reinstated the enforcement of an 1864 law banning all abortions even if necessary to terminate a pregnancy caused by rape or incest. The only abortions allowed would be in order to save the life of the mother. The reinstatement of the law is expected to take effect before the end of April.  The law was passed before Arizona became a state in 1912 and enforcement had been blocked by Roe v. Wade. When Roe v. Wade fell, it opened the opportunity for enforcement under the 1864 law. There are seven justices on the AZ Supreme Court: 5 are men, 2 are women, all appointed by a conservative male governor. The Arizona state legislature is also majority men, and that body has already voted against repealing that ancient law.

What I wish to discuss today is the information and guidance we are providing to women of childbearing age in this country. When I entered puberty in the 1960s, birth control was not widely available. Birth control pills were approved by the FDA in 1960, but for girls and boys under 18 parental consent was required. As attitudes toward sexual intercourse before marriage changed and became more liberal, most states made birth control available to teens younger than 18 without parental consent.

The birds and the bees speech for women in the 1960s and 1970s still centered somewhat around protecting your reputation and the social stigma of having a child out of wedlock. That social stigma has largely disappeared by 2024. It is common for women to have children without being married. Some choose that option because they don’t want to have the father of their child or any man in their lives. Many couples choose not to get married even if they decide to have children. Still the burden of pregnancy and motherhood falls primarily on the woman. Men can and do cut out of a relationship whenever they want leaving their children behind. There is little legal remedy and certainly no major social stigma that occurs in a man’s life when he chooses that course of action.

Therefore, what women need to do for each other is to prepare our sisters of childbearing age for all the consequences of single motherhood. This has nothing to do with reputation. It has to do with the very survival of a woman and her child. We know much more about those consequences than we did in 1960, and the world is a very different place for women than it was back then. We must acknowledge that daily life has become more complicated and time consuming for everyone in the U.S. when it comes to obtaining and maintaining acceptable, affordable food, shelter, goods and services. We should assume that younger women may be so busy trying to survive in their daily existence that they are not totally tracking the devastating political changes occurring in many of our states. These women may still be counting on the availability of birth control, abortion and welfare programs to support themselves and their children. These things are disappearing daily and may not be restored quickly especially in the so-called Red States.

First we need to encourage prospective mothers to plan their pregnancies. This means that they should take birth control pills or shots and absolutely enforce the use of birth control by their partners until they are ready to get pregnant. They should not count on abortion as the final solution for birth control because that solution is disappearing in many states and is expensive if the woman is required to go to another state for her procedure.

Next they need to acknowledge to themselves what they and their families and friends would do if they became pregnant before they wanted to. If they are absolutely opposed to abortion, then they need to consider what options they will have and the consequences of those options. If they choose to keep the child, they must ask themselves how they will support the child and whether they have a support network of friends and family who can help them. Many of the people who insist on a pregnant woman giving birth also vote against measures such as welfare programs and childcare tax credits for single mothers. There is much information about how single mothers have to work several jobs, and their children inevitably become latchkey kids if the mother has no affordable childcare options. Their children have to babysit themselves while mom is at work. Corporations, most of which are male controlled, have been very resistant to providing childcare for their workers as part of their benefits.

No matter what various people will tell single pregnant women when they are making the decision about whether to carry their child to term, there is not always a family waiting to adopt their child. Even if there is a family that adopts the child, there is no guarantee that the family will provide the child with a healthy and happy life. The care at orphanages and in foster care is sometimes suboptimal. Also, there is much literature about the lifelong guilt and psychological trauma experienced by women who choose to give up a child.   

Helping young women plan their pregnancies in a world where the clock of progress for women’s reproductive rights is being turned back by decades may prevent them from having to turn to prostitution to support themselves and their children. Before birth control and career opportunities for women, that was frequently the only option available to single mothers. Of course even in 2024, prostitution may still be the way that single mothers can earn the most money to support themselves and their children.

A prospective young mother should also admit to herself that just as the father of her child may fail her by walking away when she becomes pregnant, no other male is likely to step up to support her and child without requiring the mother to provide unacceptable trade-offs. Not only should we as women be willing to educate young women about planning, but we should also be willing to provide support to them in terms of money as well as volunteer support. For example we can support organizations such as Planned Parenthood and the National Network of Abortion Funds. If we own our own business, we should figure out a way to provide childcare for single mother employees. If we feel strongly about the rights and welfare of single mothers and their children, we should vote our consciences at the polls. These single mothers and their children are the future of our nation. All women, whether they are of childbearing age or not, are in this together.